Arrest Lucy Kibaki Before It is Too Late!

Onyango Oloo Calls for the Incarceration of the President's Wife

Today was World Press Day and

Mrs. Lucy Muthoni Kibaki celebrated in style.

Kenyans at home and abroad are hanging their heads in NATIONAL and international shame, complete shock and utter disbelief at news circulating in The Scotsman, the Hindu, the Guardian, the British Broadcasting Corporation, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, the Voice of America, the Washington Times and numerous other media outlets around the world that the First Lady walked into the NATION Centre,

brandishing a copy of the STANDARD(how clueless!), claiming that she, who lives in Muthaiga, not Korogocho is ati the “voice of the voiceless” and underlining her down-trodden status by slapping a camera person doing their job, preventing journalists from doing their jobs and basically terrorizing members of Kenya's Fourth Estate-

with body guards and the Nairobi police chief in tow.

I think that Lucy Muthoni Kibaki should be immediately arrested and charged with criminal assault.

I think the camera person she slapped should not flinch from launching a civil action and sue her for millions in DOLLARS or British Pounds because after all, she can afford it, not living in the teeming slums and what not.

If Lucy Kibaki is NOT arrested and charged for the crime she committed live and direct, very consciously, deliberately and methodically, before rolling cameras, then this will be another reminder that there are two systems of "justice" in Kenya: one for the Lucys, Biwotts, Somaias, Murungarus and Sunkulis and one for the rest of the Wananchi.

Around New Year's Day 2004, Oloo was among the earliest public defenders of the First Lady within the Kenyan online communities like Mashada, RC Bowen, Kenyaonline, Africa Oped, Mambogani, Kisii.Com, Kenyaniyetu and so on. Back then, I admired her chutzpah, her gusto in kicking the matako of the NAK schemers straight out of her kitchen.

Today I hold a totally different view.

There is a real possibility that Mrs. Lucy Muthoni Kibaki is completely INSANE.

Yes, the likelihood that our First Lady is suffering from a chronic and major mental illness can not just be ruled out like that, you know what I am saying?

Her actions are CONSISTENT with someone who is paranoid, delusional, psychotic and otherwise deranged. Some anonymous posters online have been suggesting that in fact, Lucy Kibaki has been a long term patient of one of Kenya's leading psychiatrists. Is this true? I do not know. Here is one link that may or may NOT throw light on kitu gani kinamkera Mama Jimmy.

So it could very well be true that Lucy is a certified LUNATIC. In which case, I think she should immediately be put in a straight jacket and carted off, post-haste to a securely padded cell in Mathare Mental Hospital where she would receive top notch professional support.

If she is in fact, stark, raving mad and nothing is done soon, who knows what the First Lady could do in the very near future?

How about if, sometimes next week, she shoots a Standard Six pupil dead in downtown Nairobi for allegedly sticking his or her tongue out to her in pure, puerile urchinine jest?


What then?

I recently composed a very unflattering song about the First Lady, poking fun at her, mocking her openly as the Pretend President of Kenya. If she could slap a KTN camera for pointing a camera at her, what will she do to Onyango Oloo if she accosted me? Have Police Chief Kingori throw me, head first, into a giant mtungi of scalding uji?

That would not be nice thing to do at all, would it now?

I mean, who wants to die of first degree uji burns?

Not I !

Incidentally, Onyango Oloo is not a shrink so beyond recycling the possible Insanity Plea from the First Lady, I can not vouch for the validity of any claims that the President's wife is completely bonkers.

Mugoroki, Wakunyuge, Janeko, Kichaa , Mwendazimu or NOT, the actions of the First Lady are very troubling.

You know there is this other possibility that we should not discount:

Lucy Kibaki is perfectly normal upstairs and is SIMPLY TOTALLY DRUNK WITH POWER.

I mean, she is after all, the President's wife, ama?

She is after all, part of one of Kenya's wealthiest families, is she not?

She is after all, an insider of the andu aitu cabal or did we forget that?

She is after all, the landlady who rents out her mansion to none other than the chief representative of the World Bank in Kenya.

She is after all, a resident of comfortable, costly, deluxe, easy, elaborate, epicurean, expensive, extravagant, fancy, gorgeous, grand, grandiose, gratifying, hedonistic, immoderate, imposing, impressive, indulgent, lavish, luscious, lush, magnificent, majestic, opulent, ostentatious, palatial, pampered, pleasurable, pleasure-loving, plush, plushy, posh, pretentious, rich, ritzy, self-indulgent, sensual, sensuous, splendid, stately, sumptuous, sybaritic, upscale, MUTHAIGA, not Korogocho ama? Hey, that was a thesaurus speaking...

Lord Acton is associated with the worn out phrase about how absolute power corrupts absolutely.

We can see how the current parvenu elite around President Kibaki are intoxicated with the bhangi of kutawala kwa mabavu, after the 24 year drought when it was Moi and his henchmen sucking on that mrija of affluence,arrogance with complete impunity.

Lucy Kibaki can openly slap a fellow Kenyan on live television because she knows no one will touch her-least of all the President himself whom she has been repeatedly stomping on throughout the years of their dysfunctional matrimony.

Who will bell the cat?

I mean, who will step forward and slip the handcuffs on Kenya's most violent political felon?

By the way, I wanted to touch briefly on something that has not been considered worthy of pithy comment by our country's politically addicted pundits.

We know about the Rumble at the Party when Rucy tried to shut down Makhtiar Diop's farewell bash. I have nothing to add to the vitriol flowing with the heavy downpour nyesharing all over the country.

But why are we as a Kenyan nation NOT speaking as LOUDLY over the fact that there is something sketchy and unkosher about the fact the President of Kenya is busy acting as a landlord.

There is nothing wrong with being a landlord, even a slumlord in Korogocho,as some of those Muthaiga residents are wont to be.

But there is something slightly off, about raking in a rental income while you are still an incumbent in the country's highest office.

Have these jokers in Nairobi ever heard of something called "conflict of interest"?

Over here in Canada, when Paul Martin was about to be "coronated"(oops, ahem, become) Prime Minister there was a hue and cry over the fact that the billionaire Montreal businessman may have been tarnished politically if he did not immediately RESIGN from his own his shipping line company.

I am NOT making this up. Check out this link.

What EXACTLY, is "conflict of interest"?

Find out here.

Is it ethical for President Kibaki to be renting out his own house to the country representative of the World Bank? How independent, objective and level headed will Mwai Kibaki be, as our country's highest elected official when he walks into a meeting with none other than Makhtar Diop to discuss World Bank policies in Kenya?

Is he in a position to even whimper a feeble protest that maybe, just maybe the Bretton Woods snake oil from Paul Wolfowitz's employer is perhaps NOT working for millions of wananchi after being tried repeatedly for over forty years?

Does the President of Kenya NEED a rental income from anybody?

Kwani how much is he paid?

And I am not even referring to his official presidential salary. I am referring to his dozens of private business interests!

I mean, how GREEDY can a Muthaiga resident get?

Kwani, what stopped Lucy and Emilio from saying:

"Eh...Sikiza Mr. Diop, we would be glad to rent our place to you and your lovely music loving family- but we think there are other struggling landlords who could use the business from the World Bank?"

Nimekomea hapo leo.

Onyango Oloo
Montreal